Dagens fräckisar

I've got a trial soon at Man United to see if I'm good enough for Alex Ferguson.
It's the biggest day in any young referee's career

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I'm going to get Ally McCoist to appeal my driving ban for me.
Seems he is pretty good at making 15 points disappear.

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I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Spurs Fan said, "The '70s called... They want their shirt back!"
I said, "The '40s called... Your shower's ready."

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Gillingham winger Chris Whelpdale suffered an unusual injury in his side's 2-1 Boxing Day victory, as a tackle split open his scrotum

Looks like Santa Claus isn't the only person to have emptied his sack this Christmas . . .

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Tipstack till NUFC 72